Change
Ahh, change. Sometimes we
usher in change with open arms. Other
times we desperately hang on to our current circumstances hoping and praying
that they will never change. If I had to
sum up my time in Ethiopia with a few words, “change” would definitely make the
list.
It all started with change.
Leaving everything I had ever known to live in one of the poorest
countries in the world that I knew little about. When I moved, I knew that my life
circumstances would change but I had no idea the change that would happen in me
as a person during the next 2+ years of my journey.
God has used my time in Ethiopia to bring me through a refining
process. Change isn’t usually easy,
especially when we think we don’t need to change. We can either accept the change that God is
wanting to do in our lives or we can reject it and suffer. I can’t say that I willingly accepted the
change that God challenged me to. There
may or may not have been some ugly girl crying that took place. But I eventually wised up and realized that
God was doing this for my own benefit.
I have been in some really deep, dark places in the past 2
years. I have had some real moments of
intense struggle. I have had some
moments of doubt. I have had some
moments of worry-worry that I wasn’t accomplishing what God brought me here to
do. I have had some real moments of
being lost-lost as to what I am to do next with ministry. I have had seasons of dealing with spiritual
warfare that I thought I would never come out from under. I have had seasons of serious illnesses. But God used all those moments and seasons to
change me into the new me.
2 Corinthians 5:17 says that when we become Christians we put off
our old selves and become a new creation.
I definitely felt that when I became a Christian around 6 years ago but
I guess I never realized that after that time, we still had changing to do.
My process of change was painful and hideous and I was not always
in a good place during that change. I
was not always a good wife, mother, and friend to those around me. But I finally feel as if I have come out on
the other side. Recently, God has been
showing Mussie and me other changes that we need to make in our marriage,
family, and ministry and sometimes it is overwhelming. Change is scary and it is painful.
Sometimes, when God changes the course of our lives or ministry
it breaks our heart but if we can just realize that He is there putting back
together the pieces of our heart for our benefit and His glory then it can make
the process easier.
I know that Mussie and I are starting another season of change
right now and while I don’t know what will come of it, I am confident that it
is the best thing for us because it is what HE wants.