Paper Bead Jewelry Project

I am excited about what our ladies have been doing lately.  An income generating activity has been created for some of the mothers in the Blessing the Children International (BCI) program.

A visiting missionary came with the hopes of teaching some of the women how to make paper bead necklaces.  She held a training class for them and they did really well!!  A lot of our mothers have craft abilities and they proved that they can pick up new things very quickly.

After talking with the management committee of BCI we realized that this project could accomplish two things.  If we sell the necklaces for a profit, we can use that profit to raise funds for a new ministry that BCI is working on to help rehabilitate prostitutes.

This income generating project will give the “beaders” a new skill and an income while also raising money to help change the lives of other women that are trapped in prostitution.

The women make the beads at home and then once a week they turn them in for payment.  The beads are then sorted for quality and they receive payment for the quality beads.  Some of our women have been making an awesome income doing this!  It has really changed their lives.

I am happy to see that this is doing so well.  I have seen people try different things to change situations for families here and they haven’t worked.  It is difficult to figure out exactly why something does or doesn’t work and it is really frustrating when people take advantage of opportunities given to them.

This has been going on for a few months now and it has been successful in motivating the women to work for what is given to them.  There are three women that have really gone above and beyond with this and I am excited to see where this project will take them.

Of course, it is still early but we have great expectations for this based on early indicators.  I haven’t seen another project take off so well in the early stages.  Please pray that we can keep this up.

But, it doesn’t stop there.  We now have to sell the necklaces.  We plan to sell them to visiting missionaries, at markets, and in the States.  I will be bringing back quite a few necklaces, bracelets, and rings with me.  

It would help us out if you would be willing to buy a few, but if you are able to help me sell them that would be even better!  There are many different colors, sizes, and styles.  We also have some for little girls.  I have included a few pictures but it is hard to get good pictures.  The price ranges are from $5-$15.

Some of the necklaces

Close up of one.

A ring.

A bracelet.

Needs of the Family

I have a few people in my life that often email asking me what my family or myself needs.  I often post about needs of the ministry or local kids but these friends of mine are interested in what we need.  I have been told that I need to tell people when I have needs, that way they can be filled.  Well, this blog is about the things that me and my family needs:

School fees:

As a family, we have decided that it is best for our kids to go to one of the International schools in town.  Last year proved very difficult for us as a family.  Fiker was attending the school that is a part of BCI.  We support the school and think they offer a great alternative to the public education that is widely offered here.  However, this school is taught in Amharic.  They have English classes built into their schedules but even in those classes, Amharic is widely used.  

Last year was really rough for us.  I wasn’t able to really be a part of the education process.  Even though I understand a lot of conversational Amharic, I can’t read it.  Nor do I understand “educational” terms.  We also need our kids to improve their English quickly, and that didn’t happen last year.  For this reason, we thought it best for our children to attend an English-speaking school.

We are really excited about this new school.  They use a British curriculum and have tons of educational resources on-site.  As you know, most children learn best by using different varieties of teaching other than just lecture.  This school is able to accommodate that.  This is especially great for Fiker as she doesn’t learn well in a lecture type environment.  

The school is expensive for us though.  It is $50/mth per child.  So that means we need $150/mth.  That equals out to $1500 for this year.

Clothes:

I often collect clothes for the kids in the program but now it’s my kids that need clothes.  They all need pants, shorts, shirts (long & short sleeve), sweaters, socks, and underwear.  They need:

Fiker:

Size 8/10 clothes 

Size 4 undies

Size 1 & 2 shoes

Rebirra:

Size 4t & 5t clothes and undies

Size 9 & 10 shoes

Makreab:

Size 4t & 5t clothes and undies  

Size 9 & 10 shoes

Size 11 rainboots

If you would like to help us out with the clothes and shoes, I can get them from you when I am in the States.  Just let me know.

Medical Expenses:

When I come to the States next week I have some medical visits I need to attend.  I have some medical things that can’t be dealt with here so I have to do it in the States.  Between visits, tests, and prescriptions I am looking at approx $1500.

Could you please join me in prayer that these needs will be met?  If you would like to help us out financially, you can do that through PayPal.  Just click the PayPal link on the left hand side of the page.

Thank you in advance for your prayers and your financial gifts.  May God bless you in return!

July Newsletter

I have put together a newsletter for July and you can access it here. Please take a moment to read it and remember these precious little ones in your prayers.

 

Clothes, clothes, clothes!

I am so excited to post this!!  This is a dream realized for me.  It may seem small to some, but it is huge for me.

When visiting missionaries come they always bring a lot of clothes for the babies and small children.  I understand why this happens-they are cuter clothes and they are smaller so more can be packed.  Hardly ever do people bring clothes for the teenagers that I work with.  

This has weighed heavily on my mind for quite some time.  I finally felt God’s gentle voice telling me that I didn’t have to wait for someone else to remedy the problem-I could do it.  So I went online and went on a HUGE shopping spree.  Belk was having a big online sale so I took full advantage of it.  Nothing cost over $7 and most things were around $4.

I ordered 115 pieces of clothing for our teenagers-boys and girls.  My poor sister had the boxes delivered to her house but she was gracious enough to take some pictures for me.  

Some of the brand-new clothes!!

I absolutely can not wait to bring back these brand new clothes for our young adults.  Now. . .how will I get them back here?  Oh well, that is a good problem for me to work on.  :)

Because of the financial support that I receive from friends, family, and church members I am able to do projects like this.  For that I am so grateful and I am so happy that you are part of this project.  Not everyone can go to a mission field far away but everyone can give-whether in finances or prayer.  So THANK  YOU! 

I will post pictures when the distribution happens.

Our family is growing!

So pretty soon we will be a family of 5.  Mussie’s nephew, Makrab, will be moving in with us.  I am not going to go into all of the reasons of why he is not with his birth parents, due to family privacy, but he is in need of a home.  Makrab is 7 years old and will be going into 2nd grade.  Due to health problems early in his life, Makrab looks to be about 5 years old or so.  Rebirra (my 3 year old) is heavier than Makrab!!

Super cute Makrab.

We are all excited about Makrab’s arrival but we know that it will bring some challenges.  He still suffers from some health issues.  Both of my kids are relatively healthy so we haven’t had to deal with any health problems as of yet.  This will bring a new dimension to the family.  

I want to make sure that Makrab feels welcome and not like the “outsider kid”.  We will treat him just like we treat our other children but you know sometimes children perceive things that aren’t necessarily there.

We request prayer during this time as we make a change in our family.  I already had my trip to the States planned (my Ethiopian visa is expiring) before we decided to take Makrab in so I will be gone for 5 weeks while he is getting settled.  One of Mussie’s sisters will be staying at the house to help with the children so we are confident that his transition will be okay, seeing as how he is really close with his aunt that is coming to stay.

For the past two years, when I would look at my future, I saw my house filled with children that needed homes.  I guess it’s coming true.  :)

Thanks for the prayers!

What if we are "the least of these"?

I think Americans have it all wrong.  For the most part, American culture is all about keeping up with everyone around you.  With clothing, shoes, jewelry, houses, cars, looks . . .the list goes on.  Can we really never be satisfied?  Is it really necessary to spend $85 on face cream?  Why do we do it?  Because it makes us feel better, I guess.  

We have 2 kids and we have to have a 4 bedroom house (or bigger).  I mean, where will the guests sleep when they come?  We have to drive a big car.  Goodness, what if we ever need to haul something, we have to have a spare truck for that, right?

I often hear people say that they can’t sponsor a child, adopt a child, or take in a foster child because they can’t afford it.  But yet, we seem to be able to afford to eat out 3 times a week, to get Starbucks every day, to upgrade our car when we don’t really need it.  Those $90 pair of shoes, no problem.

Americans are among the richest people on earth but if we look at the statistics of suicides and those of us that are on antidepressants, it seems we are the unhappiest.  

I have met the happiest people on earth and they are among the poorest.  I have never been with people who are so happy with so little.  People that get excited over the smallest things: things like sewing kits, bubbles, fruit snacks, travel sized soaps and shampoos, socks, and underwear.  And people that not only get excited about it but instantly turn around and offer some of the fruit snacks to the person that gave it to them.

I have been in a one-room dirt hut with an HIV-positive mother and her two children, one of which is also HIV-positive, and have her offer me the last of the food in the house.  I have been with children who have gotten excited and praised God when someone gives them a jump rope or a pair of shoes.  It’s not that they get excited because of the jump rope or the shoes but they are more excited because God answered their prayers.  You see, one little girl really wanted a jump rope and she prayed for one and the next day she received one.  Another little boy broke his shoes at school and his mother fussed at him because she couldn’t replace them.  He told her not to worry because he prayed that God would provide, and he did the very same day.

The Bible warns about becoming rich.  Being rich isn’t a sin but God knew that the richer people get, the more likely they are to rely on Him less.  I am not saying that there has never been a rich Christian that truly relies on Christ for everything, but I am saying that it is rare and it is really hard.

Why do I think it’s hard?  Because we have safety nets.  We have doctors, lawyers, 401k, government assistance programs, college degrees, cars, etc. . .  

Think about it.  If you were a tight-rope walker and you knew there was no safety net beneath you, don’t you think you would pay just a little closer attention to what you are doing?  But if you know the net is below you, you can relax a little.

I think it is similar with faith.  When we get a horrible diagnosis from the doctor we tend to start weighing our options about treatments before we turn to prayer.  Why is it that after treatments don’t work and we are getting sicker and sicker do we then throw ourselves at the feet of God and beg for His mercy?

Most of the families that I have the privilege of spending time with don’t have adequate amounts of food to eat but they always are willing to share it with you.  In fact, it’s more than willing.  They force it on you!  But why do they do this?  Because they believe that they are to share what God has blessed them with.

But shouldn’t I refuse to eat the last of their food, I mean, doesn’t the Bible say that we should help the least of these? It shouldn’t be the other way around.  But what if we are the least of these?  What if, because of our privilege and wealth, we actually are the least of these?  The least of the faithful?  

Prayer is so huge here.  I have never, ever seen people pray like I have seen Ethiopian Christians pray.  I don’t mean short, scripted, routine prayers.  I mean, full out camp meeting type prayers.  And not just once a year at camp meeting but 2-3 times a week.  For example, Mussie’s mom came to our house recently and spent two entire days in prayer.  She locked herself in a room and only came out once a day to eat with us.  You may be asking, what happened recently that she felt the need to have a two day prayer session?  Nothing.  This is her normal.  

Revelations 3:17 says, “because you say, ‘I am rich, have become wealthy, and have need of nothing’ - and do not know that you are wretched, miserable, poor, blind, and naked”.  In this passage, John is talking to the Church of Laodicea.  He was warning them of how they had become luke-warm in their faith.  God despises luke warm Christians so much that He wants to vomit them from his mouth.  This verse is telling us that when we have all of our needs provided for them we feel as if we don’t need anything.  But the truth is, we are in need of Christ.  I don’t think a lot of us walk around with the mindset, “well, all of my material needs are met so I don’t need Jesus” but we live this out by our actions.  We do everything we can to “improve” our standard living here on Earth but do we do everything we can to improve the health of our Christian life?  

I know I don’t.  

One year later. . .

Well here goes.  This blog is going to be personal and that terrifies me.  I am pretty private with my personal life and that’s how I like it.  But God has been challenging me lately to open up about my first year of marriage-to be completely exposed.  This is terrifying because. . .it’s not pretty. . .my attitude has not been pretty. . .my responses have not been pretty.  But, I am trusting God that someone needs to hear this, that someone will relate to my struggles.

Our first year of marriage has not been how I pictured a first year of marriage should be.  I don’t really know what I had expected but definitely not this.  If you forced me to tell you my expectations it would probably just be it should have been a time for us to build a solid marriage, to have no other distractions but ourselves and to concentrate on growing closer to be able to face life's challenges together----future challenges.

But, it was not to be so.  After we got married we lived in the BCI guesthouse where we had no privacy.  Because we were living in the guesthouse people just expected us to be available 24/7.  I don’t only mean the visiting missionaries (that is to be expected) but  pretty much everyone else.  Because we were close people just felt like they could come over whenever suited them.  We were meant to live in the guesthouse until October but around July I couldn’t take it anymore.  I asked Mussie to start looking for a house for us.  Around the same time we decided to start the adoption process of Fiker and Rebirra.

We had originally decided to wait until we had been married for 6 months before we started the process but we started it after only 3 months.  There were different reasons for this but the main one is that we thought the adoption process would take awhile.  You know, 6-8 months or so.  Again, it was not to be so.  The adoption process took 3 weeks.  Yes, 3 weeks.  The day we went to the courthouse we were told we were going for a decision.  We just assumed it was a decision about whether or not a local and foreigner could adopt children together.  This had never been done in our region and the judges didn’t really know what to do with us.  So we were shocked and surprised that the “decision” we received that day was “congrats, here are your children.”  

I remember that we were just standing in the courthouse staring at each other.  I was convinced that there was some sort of “lost in translation” moment happening but it was true.  We were parents.  We then decided that just because they were legally ours didn’t mean we had to move them in with us right away.  They were living in a good place and we wanted to do what we thought was best for them-which was letting them get used to the idea.  But again, it was not to be so.  Even while we were standing in the courthouse the word got out and someone told Fiker that they had been adopted.  I was furious.  I wanted Mussie and I to be the ones to have this conversation with her.  As soon as she was told, she started packing her bags.  What were we supposed to do with that?  Tell a 7 year old “yes, we just adopted you but we don’t want you to come live with us now, you have to wait”?  So we rushed around in the next few days and moved into a new house.  We all moved in on the same day, starting the journey in our new house together.  

The first few weeks were okay.  I knew that God called us to adopt them and maybe it didn’t happen on our time schedule but that was irrelevant, they were living with us.  But the honeymoon period ended and the past 9 months has been rocky. . .so rocky that I didn’t think we were going to make it.

I know that newborns are an incredible amount of work but I have to believe that it would have been easier for me to deal with a newborn than 2 walking, talking (another language!!) children that have expectations of me other than feeding, changing diapers, and snuggling.  I was sinking and I didn’t know what to do.  I felt so incredibly alone.  I don’t really have a great support system here and I don’t have a close friend here, someone to depend on.  Obviously, I have Mussie and he has been so great during all of my meltdowns but sometimes you just need a “soul sister”.  Do you know what I mean?  I don’t have that here and I didn’t really know who to turn to.  The people I thought I could turn to, ended up failing me.

When we adopted them, Fiker was out on school break.  *Side note-we now see God’s wisdom in speeding up the adoption.  If we had done it on our time table it would have been during the middle of her school year.  It was better for her that she not have to deal with that while school was going on.  Anyways, after the first few weeks I was literally terrified for Mussie to leave me alone with her.  I didn’t know what to do with a 7 year old that doesn’t speak English!  Rebirra was easy.  Give him a tonka truck, food, and milk and he was set.  But this little girl actually wanted me to interact with her, for goodness sake!!!

I actually never wanted children so I was so completely unprepared for this new season that God had given me.  I didn’t know what to do with them.  And any small piece of information that I had in raising children required communication. . .I couldn’t even communicate with my children.  So the first few months turned into a lot of waiting until Mussie got home and unloading on him and making him deal with stuff.  I would yell at him about his “never” being home (which wasn’t true but isn’t it amazing how we blow things out of proportion when we are struggling?).  

Somewhere along the way I realized that I didn’t love Fiker.  I loved her in the way that you love all of God’s children but I didn’t love her as my own child.  I started having tremendous guilt about this.  I actually started doubting whether or not God really wanted me to adopt them.  Had I misunderstood Him?  I had been so certain that this was His will (I mean, I didn’t even want children so why would I make this up?) but it was too hard to be God’s will.  I started getting mad at God because He failed me.  I had always heard “If He calls you to it, He will bring you through it”.  That was a load of junk.  He wasn’t bringing me through it, He was letting me sink and sink.  Of course, this isn’t true either but this was my perception at the time.

I had planned a trip to the States before the adoption and I literally couldn’t wait to go.  Not just to visit my family and friends but to get away.  Away from all of the demands of this life that I never wanted.  I remember that when I was in the States people would say things like “I bet you miss those babies so much” and I would think to myself “no, I don’t”.  I missed Mussie so much that it actually hurt but I didn’t miss the kids.  I started having huge guilt about that.  As my return trip starting approaching I was terrified.  Terrified to return to the kids.  I really started questioning God’s sanity.  Why would he want me, of all people, to be these kids mother?  Hadn’t they been through enough already?  Their life was better in the foster home.  They should have stayed there.

I secretly hoped that while I was away things would be terrible for Mussie so he could see how much I was struggling with the kids but of course he adapted amazingly.  When I came back I felt like it was better for them when I was gone.  After all, I was the one that was having all of the issues so inevitably with my return-all of the chaos returned.  

I had a great idea that I would start reading parenting books to help me to figure out how to be a mother.  But this just discouraged me more because apparently most of the ways to be a great parent require communication.  Obviously, I can show love to my children in actions but to raise them to be viable adults that love God and have high moral standards you have to be able to communicate.  I can’t correct them or encourage them because I can’t communicate with them.  So, I quit the books because they just made me angry.

And of course, my return to Ethiopia couldn’t been easy.  The week I returned Mussie and I were called into Fiker’s school and we learned some pretty disturbing things about her.  I had always assumed Fiker to be a very well behaved child.  That is what I always saw when I interacted with her when she lived at the foster home.  I didn’t know she had another side.  She was having a lot of behavioral issues at school.  I assumed this was all to do with her adjustment to the adoption but I then found out that she has always been a child that has behavioral issues.  That was a secret that no one shared with me.  It seemed everyone else knew this about my child, except for me.  

Mussie and I came up with a plan on how to deal with this but this just made her act out at home.  Up until that point she had been pretty well behaved at home but we unleashed a wild child!!  It was a long, horrible road but we have pretty much taken care of it.  Of course, all child make mistakes at times, but she is on a much better road behaviorally.  This all came at a time that I was still trying to “force” myself to love her.  We would make progress and then she would mess up again and I wouldn’t love her again.  That is when I realized that my love for her was conditional.  If she behaved then I felt like I loved her but if she acted out I didn’t love her anymore.

God showed me that this is not love.  I am so glad that He opened my eyes because it has made me appreciate His love and mercy so much more.  What if God only loved me when I was good?  That is a scary thought.

I wish I could say that I have spent all of this time in serious prayer and Bible studying.  But, sadly, that is not the case.  Remember earlier I said I was angry with God?  Well, when I am angry with someone I don’t want to spend time with them.  For about 2 months I went through a time where I couldn’t pray or read the Bible properly.  When I say I couldn’t pray, I mean that I couldn’t pray words.  But sometimes I would just meditate on God and try to reconcile my feelings with Him.

Slowly, I started forcing myself to spend time with Him.  I know that the worst thing you can do when you are discouraged or angry is to push away from Him.  God and I have struggled (actually, I am the only one that struggled) but He has pulled me through.

Through all of this craziness Mussie and I still had ministry to deal with.  A pastor friend of ours in Canada and his wife warned us to not let ministry overtake our marriage.  This has happened at times and we have to remind ourselves that our first ministry is to each other and then to our children.

Through all of this Mussie has been amazing.  He has been thrust in the middle of this family drama and he has handled it so well.  Mussie is such a patient, caring man and I know if it wasn’t for him I would have given up and walked away a long time ago.  I can’t say that Mussie has understood all of my struggles, because he doesn’t understand them, but he loves me anyway.  When I told him I didn’t love Fiker and I regretted adopting them he promised me that we would make it through.  At the time, I wanted to punch him because all I wanted to hear was that he agreed and that it was okay I had these feelings.  He never said it was okay but he said we would get through.

By not having a support system, besides Mussie, it has helped me to rely more on God.  To rely totally on him to get me through every day, every minute.  I know that God has made us for companionship with other believers but I believe He has used this time of solitude to make me see that He is all that I need.

As our one year anniversary neared we talked about how rough this past year has been.  Lots of people have told us that the first years of marriage are the best and then it goes downhill after that.  I pray that isn’t true!  And why should it be?  Surely, God didn’t intended for marriage to be bliss for 2 years and hell for 50!  We are firmly believing that God has strengthened us during this time and has given us tools to fight for our future together.  I would rather have our struggles in the beginning than to have a perfect 10 years and then start struggling.

Lots of people have also told me that marriage is hard and mothering is easy.  That has not been our case.  Our marriage has been good and relatively easy.  Not for one second have I ever regretted marrying him.  Of course we still have challenges but nothing compared to what I have been dealing with in the mothering department!

I pray that this blog is an encouragement for someone that is struggling.  Not necessarily in the same way that I was, but in anyway.  There is too much for me to type here but God has called you to this season for a purpose.  Even if you made mistakes and are now living in the consequences of those mistakes God will use it for His glory.  When you feel as if you are sinking ask Him boldly for a lifesaver and hang on to it.  Don’t grab it and then let it slip through your fingers when you start sinking again.  Hold on tight and hold your head high!