Two weeks in!

I have been a full-time mother for two weeks.  I know that doesn’t sound like a long time for most of you but for me it feels like a really long time.  Not because we haven’t had a good time or because things have been horrible, but because I have waited two years for this and I have been soaking up every moment.  

It has been an amazing two weeks.  Even though we have had our ups and downs it has been just priceless.  I really have been amazed at how well the kids have adjusted.  I know it is still early and maybe we will run into issues later but it has been much easier than I anticipated.  Don’t get me wrong, we have had some disciplinary issues but nothing major.

Fiker has known for two years that I wanted to adopt her and I have spent a lot of time with them for the past year while in Ethiopia.  They also have spent a lot of time with Mussie over the past two years and they love him so much.  So it’s not as if they moved in with complete strangers.

Also, the children are able to communicate easily with Mussie.  I have been thinking about International adoptions lately and I was thinking that it must be really frustrating to adopt a child that you can’t speak with.  I have learned quite a bit of Amharic so I can get my point across and I can understand most of what they want but I can’t have full conversations with them.  I really got to thinking about how frustrating it must be for a child to be adopted and then now their new parents don’t understand them.  Children get really frustrated when they aren’t understood and I can see where that would lead to a lot of behavioral issues.  But thankfully the children can communicate with Mussie.  It is such a blessing that he is able to find out their desires and wants.

As a mother, I want to make sure that I am meeting not just their needs but also their wants (not every want) and I can’t always figure out what they are saying.  It is great that Mussie is able to tell me what they want.  Because of the language barrier I do feel left out-especially during our prayer and Bible reading at night time.  We do it in Amharic because we really want the children to understand the Bible stories.  So I kind of just sit there during this time.  When the children pray, Mussie tells me what they said but it would be so sweet and precious if I could understand exactly what they said.  Sometimes, things get lost in translation.

It has been really hard on me that I can’t communicate freely with them.  I’ve already had people tell me that we should only communicate with them in English so that they will be perfect in English one day.  That is not the approach I want to take.  Yes, I want my children to be fluent in English one day but they are 7 and 2.  For now, I want them to be understood and I want them to be able to express themselves in their language.

I really love the fact that we adopted them and kept them in their native country.  Don’t get me wrong, I am not against International adoption but for our family-I think it is best for them that we are staying here.  One of the things that I love about Ethiopia, is it’s rich culture.  I don’t want my kids to lose that.  I think that a big contribution to their well-adjustment is that we didn’t rip them away from everything they have ever known.

There are some downsides, of course, but in comparing keeping them here and taking them to America-keeping them here wins every time!

I love that Mussie and I are able to provide them with nutritious meals.  They never went  hungry where they lived before but they were not fed nutritious meals.  Mussie and I are able to provide them with milk, fruits, and vegetables every day.  I praise God for that.  Although, Fiker is totally addicted to bread.  My goal is to break her of that!  Some Ethiopian families primarily fill their children with bread because that is all that they can afford.  I am not completely against bread but it should not be the main course!

Mussie and I are still learning as we go on how to handle things.  For example, Fiker refused to eat her oatmeal this morning.  Even though she tasted it and it said it was delicious she refused to eat it all (it was a really small portion).  Fiker once said a few months back that she didn’t like eating because she didn’t want to get fat.  I wouldn’t be completely surprised if I heard that from a 7 year old in America but in Ethiopia?  She hasn’t been subjected to all of the fashion magazines and tv shows with unrealistic girls and women.  Where did that come from?  Fiker is soooooo skinny.  She is 7 years old and was wearing a t-shirt for a 24 month old the other day.  She is in no danger of getting fat anytime soon!  So we are still learning how to handle such situations.

I ask that you pray for our family.  Pray that the children know how much we love them.  Pray that God gives us the wisdom to not only care for them but to raise them to love God.

Church

For most visiting foreigners church in Ethiopia is exciting and fun.  But they usually follow up their statement saying something like “but I can’t imagine going there every week”.  This is so true for me.  Church in Ethiopia has proven to be one of my most difficult adjustments.  

Even though I understand a lot of the language here by now, I still have a really hard time following church services.  Even if I have a translator (which of course I almost always do) I still find church really hard.  I think that God speaks to all of us in a different way and I have always felt closest to God through music.  I don’t like the music here.  I don’t like the sound of it and understanding the language is even harder in a song then in regular speaking.  

I have tried and prayed for peace about the church situation especially since marrying Mussie but I still have a really hard time.  So much so, that it is actually painful for me to sit through these services.  The music is soooooo loud and it is so hot and the benches are very uncomfortable.  Don’t get me wrong, I am not looking for a huge, beautiful building, perfect sound decibels, air conditioning, and leather recliners to sit in-but all of these things are really hard to take when you don’t know what is going on.  I can handle all of things when it is understandable to me.  Like, at our new English service.  All of these same discomforts are still there but they annoy me less.

One of the churches I have worked a lot with since I’ve been here, Zion Church, has started an International Service on Sunday nights.  I am on the ministry board at the new services helping out with music.  I am playing clarinet again and I am happy doing that.  

I really love that we have an International service in Debre Zeit.  I now have a church to go to where I can be fed spiritually, serve. . .and understand what is happening.  But now that we have adopted two children we are trying to decide what is best for them.  We obviously want them to be able to attend church and understand what is happening.  They have been coming to the English service but I don’t want that to be their only form of church because I know how frustrating it is not to understand what is happening and I don’t want to do that to them.  But if we go to Ethiopian church in the morning we won’t get out until 1pm and then English church is at 3:30pm and somewhere in between we have to eat and Rebirra has to take a nap.  So we are praying for wisdom on what to do.  Any suggestions?

Table for four, please.

That is my life now.  Mussie and I have adopted two children from Ethiopia.  We are blessed and thrilled to have Fiker (7 years) and Rebirra (2 1/2 years) as part of our family.  Fiker and Rebirra’s mother died almost 2 years ago from cancer.  Their father (who was separated from their mother at the time of her death) was injured while serving in a war and he is disabled.  He has been unable to care for his children since before Rebirra was born.

I first met Fiker and Rebirra when I came to Ethiopia for two weeks in October 2010.  When I first visited Ethiopia I had no intentions of adopting but when I met them I felt as if God was leading me to be their mother.  When I returned to the States in October 2010 I started researching international adoption and looking for adoption agencies.  Things were progressing but I felt as if things were not right.  I still felt as if God was calling me to full-time missions in Ethiopia so I was confused as to why he would tell me to adopt two children.  I continued to fast and pray about this decision and God showed me that I could do both.  I could move to Ethiopia, be a full-time missionary, and also be their mother. 

I shared this news with only a few people when I returned from my first missions trip.  I am a very private person with my personal life and when I am in the process of making major decisions I am more prone to keep it quiet.  I don’t like getting a lot of outside opinions that may lead me to make wrong decisions.  Also if I suffer disappointments I don’t like a lot of people knowing because I don’t want to relive it every time someone tries to console me.  Right or wrong, this is just the way I am.

Some people have wondered if I knew that I would marry Mussie when I originally moved here.  I had no idea.  That was an unexpected, wonderful blessing from God.  But I did know when moving here that I would eventually adopt Fiker and Rebirra.  

Because Mussie is an Ethiopian and because we live in Ethiopia, the adoption was very easy and cheap.  I thank God that it all went so quickly.  I have known for almost 2 years that these are my children so it was a huge relief that the actual process went so quickly and I am now able to live with them as a family.  

They moved in with Mussie and I last Saturday.  Mussie and I were living in the BCI guesthouse but we found a house to rent.  All four of us moved in on the same day which was hectic and crazy but I kind of like that the first night any of us spent in our new house was together as one family.

The kids have transitioned very well.  I think it helps that Fiker has known for almost 2 years that I would adopt her one day.  I was initially worried about Rebirra’s transition because he has lived in the same house with the same caretaker for the past 2 years and he is too small to truly understand what is going on.  However, he has transitioned remarkably well.  I think it helps that he moved with his sister. 

Currently, the adoption is only legal in Ethiopia.  We still have to clear it through US Embassy before the USA recognizes them as my children.  

I am hugely blessed and I deserve none of it.  I have been in Ethiopia for almost 11 months and when I moved here I had no idea that in just 11 months I would have a husband, and two children.  But that is the wonderful thing about God-He takes you to places you never imagined but they are beautiful, wonderful places where He is with us always.

God's love

I have lived in Ethiopia for 10 months now.  I see poverty, desolation, and pain all around me.  I don’t understand all of the things that I see.  I don’t understand why God lets certain things happen to his children.  I don’t know why God allows some families to struggle financially while other families never have to worry about money.  Through my prayer for the families I have met in Debre Zeit, Ethiopia God has shown me that it is not for me to ask why-it is for me to do.  While I can’t financially help everyone I meet, I can be an advocate for them.

We are told many times in Scripture that we are to help the poor. In Matthew 25 we learn that if we help someone in need than we are doing it as if we are doing it unto Jesus.  That is amazing to me.  When we feed or clothe someone in need it is as if we are feeding or clothing Jesus.  I love that! 

When we do these things we show God’s love lives in us.  Contrastly, 1 John 3:17 says “But whoever has this world’s goods, and sees his brother in need, and shuts up his heart from his, how does the love of God abide in him?”  The Apostle John is telling us that if we have and we refuse to give to the poor then how can God’s love be in us?  God is a giver.  He gave His Son to us, He gives us His love, He gives us His joy, He gives us His Creation.  If we are to be like Him, how can we not give as well?

I had all of these thoughts after I met Alemayhu Abera and his family.  Alemayhu is an eight year old little boy in the BCI program.  He lives in a small house with his mother, two sisters, and brother.  His father died about four years ago after falling off of a house while doing construction.

Getahun, Alemayhu, and Assagidutch

Alemayhu’s family has struggled intensely for the past four years.  His mother walks approximately two miles one way to work where she works for 12 hours a day, seven days a week.  She works at a local factory where she cooks injera (local bread) for the factory workers.  At the end of the week she is allowed to take the injera scraps home to her family.  These are moldy, soggy scraps of injera that she collects to take home to her children, because she very limited things to feed them.  

Even though she works 84 hours a week she only makes 300 birr ($17) a month.  The rent on their house that has no kitchen, no bathroom, no running water, and no electricity is 100 birr ($5) a month.  That leaves 200 birr ($12) a month to feed and clothe a family of five.  Even though food and clothes are cheaper in Ethiopia than they are in America, it is impossible to feed and clothe a family of five off of $12 a month.  The family relies on BCI’s monthly grain support to help them eat, however, only Alemayhu is in the BCI program so the BCI support is not enough to cover the whole family.

I went to visit this family to see how we could help them.  I would like to find full sponsorship ($90/mth) for Alemayhu’s sister, Emebet.  Emebet is 10 years old.  I wasn’t able to meet her because she has been sent away for the summer to live as a servant in her teacher’s house.  Emebet attends school four miles from her house.  During the summer, she is sent to live as a servant for the teacher’s family.  Emebet does not get paid but the teacher provides a uniform and books for Emebet to be able to attend school the following year.  

If a full BCI sponsorship is found for Emebet then she will be able to enter the BCI program where she will receive a free education, monthly food support, and health care.  She will no longer have to be a servant just so she can go to school.

I also would like to find someone to help send Alemayhu’s oldest siblings to BCI Academy.  Assagidutch is 15 years old and Getahun is 14 years old.  They will be entering grades 7 and 8 next year.  Currently, they attend government school.  Government school in Ethiopia is not great.  It is only half day, whereas, BCI Academy runs all day.  Also, the class sizes in government school average 80 kids to one teacher.  The class sizes at BCI Academy average 25 students to one teacher.  The children will receive a much better education at BCI Academy then at government school.  

BCI Academy costs $208 a year for non-BCI, paying students.  If we find “education sponsors” for Assagidutch and Getahun for this coming school year then they will be able to attend BCI Academy even if they are not in the BCI program.  

Would you please prayerfully consider helping out this family?  They are the “least of these” by economic standards but their faith is so strong in God.  They praise God everytime they receive the monthly grain support from BCI and they praise God every week that the mother’s employer lets her bring home stale and moldy injera for the family to eat.

If you would like to either:

*Sponsor Emebet to enter the BCI program at $30, $60, or $90 a month.

*Help to send Assagidutch to BCI Academy next year ($208 is needed).

*Help to send Getahun to BCI Academy next year ($208 is needed).

Please email Melissa at Blessing The Children.  Her email address is melissa@blessingthechildren.org and she will help you to make payment arrangements.

Any and all help for our orphans is great appreciated.  I can’t even express to you how even a small gift can make a huge impact on their lives.  Be blessed!

New Members in God's Family

We had another great day at our Women’s Bible Study.  I really love the Bible study that I co-lead at Zion Church.  The women are great and we always have a great time together learning about God.  Yesterday I shared a message entitled “Our Identity in Christ”.  I talked about how the Hebrew boys in Daniel that were taken from their homes and brought to Babylon to serve under King Neb (I love the shortened version of his name!) were given new names.  Their old names referred to and honored God.  Their new names gave credit to Babylon’s false idols.  I may post my message about this later, but right now that is not the point of this blog.  

Yesterday, we had two new people to our study.  I met Kori earlier this week.  I heard that her daughter died of HIV complications and left behind two children for her to care for.  I decided to go visit Kori and the kids.  I had never met them before but I wanted to go visit to check on them, pray for them, and see if I could help in any way.  

Zerahun was also new to women’s Bible study.  He (yes, he) is cousins with one of our other members.  It was different having a man at women’s Bible study but if someone needs to hear God’s word, then they are welcome!!

After I shared my message about who we are in Christ and about the labels from our past that we need to get rid of, Nigist asked Kori and Zerahun if they wanted to accept Jesus Christ as their personal savior and they both said yes!  We then prayed for them and it was such a sweet time with the Lord.  They are scheduled to start Bible classes with the church next week.  Praise Jesus!!!  I wish I could hear the Angels in Heaven celebrating!  :)