I have been a full-time mother for two weeks. I know that doesn’t sound like a long time for most of you but for me it feels like a really long time. Not because we haven’t had a good time or because things have been horrible, but because I have waited two years for this and I have been soaking up every moment.
It has been an amazing two weeks. Even though we have had our ups and downs it has been just priceless. I really have been amazed at how well the kids have adjusted. I know it is still early and maybe we will run into issues later but it has been much easier than I anticipated. Don’t get me wrong, we have had some disciplinary issues but nothing major.
Fiker has known for two years that I wanted to adopt her and I have spent a lot of time with them for the past year while in Ethiopia. They also have spent a lot of time with Mussie over the past two years and they love him so much. So it’s not as if they moved in with complete strangers.
Also, the children are able to communicate easily with Mussie. I have been thinking about International adoptions lately and I was thinking that it must be really frustrating to adopt a child that you can’t speak with. I have learned quite a bit of Amharic so I can get my point across and I can understand most of what they want but I can’t have full conversations with them. I really got to thinking about how frustrating it must be for a child to be adopted and then now their new parents don’t understand them. Children get really frustrated when they aren’t understood and I can see where that would lead to a lot of behavioral issues. But thankfully the children can communicate with Mussie. It is such a blessing that he is able to find out their desires and wants.
As a mother, I want to make sure that I am meeting not just their needs but also their wants (not every want) and I can’t always figure out what they are saying. It is great that Mussie is able to tell me what they want. Because of the language barrier I do feel left out-especially during our prayer and Bible reading at night time. We do it in Amharic because we really want the children to understand the Bible stories. So I kind of just sit there during this time. When the children pray, Mussie tells me what they said but it would be so sweet and precious if I could understand exactly what they said. Sometimes, things get lost in translation.
It has been really hard on me that I can’t communicate freely with them. I’ve already had people tell me that we should only communicate with them in English so that they will be perfect in English one day. That is not the approach I want to take. Yes, I want my children to be fluent in English one day but they are 7 and 2. For now, I want them to be understood and I want them to be able to express themselves in their language.
I really love the fact that we adopted them and kept them in their native country. Don’t get me wrong, I am not against International adoption but for our family-I think it is best for them that we are staying here. One of the things that I love about Ethiopia, is it’s rich culture. I don’t want my kids to lose that. I think that a big contribution to their well-adjustment is that we didn’t rip them away from everything they have ever known.
There are some downsides, of course, but in comparing keeping them here and taking them to America-keeping them here wins every time!
I love that Mussie and I are able to provide them with nutritious meals. They never went hungry where they lived before but they were not fed nutritious meals. Mussie and I are able to provide them with milk, fruits, and vegetables every day. I praise God for that. Although, Fiker is totally addicted to bread. My goal is to break her of that! Some Ethiopian families primarily fill their children with bread because that is all that they can afford. I am not completely against bread but it should not be the main course!
Mussie and I are still learning as we go on how to handle things. For example, Fiker refused to eat her oatmeal this morning. Even though she tasted it and it said it was delicious she refused to eat it all (it was a really small portion). Fiker once said a few months back that she didn’t like eating because she didn’t want to get fat. I wouldn’t be completely surprised if I heard that from a 7 year old in America but in Ethiopia? She hasn’t been subjected to all of the fashion magazines and tv shows with unrealistic girls and women. Where did that come from? Fiker is soooooo skinny. She is 7 years old and was wearing a t-shirt for a 24 month old the other day. She is in no danger of getting fat anytime soon! So we are still learning how to handle such situations.
I ask that you pray for our family. Pray that the children know how much we love them. Pray that God gives us the wisdom to not only care for them but to raise them to love God.
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